3rd September:

Today I explored connecting random materials, processes and ‘ism’s into final concepts, without the limits of funding or physical rules. The words chosen for me were ‘rubber’, ‘expand’ and ‘futurism’. 

First I examined each term individually drawing connotations from them that lead down a number of different pathways. For example rubber: this lead me to think of rubber objects in my life, such as a dummy as a child (leading to the idea of comfort and childhood), rubber tires from the car (and their melting destruction caused my crashes) and erasers (which lead to the idea of an objects purpose being self-destructive). I also considered the physical properties/ limits of rubber as a material. 

Expand was an interesting one because as well as the obvious interpretation of physical expansion within a spacial dimension, ‘expand’ could also be associated with the expansion of an idea, a belief or a concept (such as how religions or cults are formed). 

The physical ideas combining these two words were relatively easy to come up with (rubber expanding with heat/air) in different ways that incorporate the earlier ideas. However adding in the third term, futurism, was the challenge. but I came up with a range of different visual and conceptual ideas and demonstrating which are displayed in my sketchbook. 

4th September: 

In lots of my previous work I played with the concept of perspective. Using the idea that the world is so different through the eyes of each individual beholder, and trying to visualise that concept (using abstract work that turns figurative when seen from a single vantage point). So today’s concepts really interested me because they allowed me to explore this concept from a different angle. Exploring a world which lacked a sense we take for granted in our everyday lives, smell.  In a world without smell would our technology have taken strides it hasn’t today in the field of detection? Eg bomb, mine and drug detection, as we train animals to harness this sense for a greater purpose. Would this impact our taste? In a world where we couldn’t taste would our food industries instead be moulded around the texture and the aesthetics of the food in luxury settings, and would eating just be a function of living, a necessity for the everyday person. Would this impact humanities health as a whole due to a lack of interest in junk food? Could this have a positive impact on the planet as a whole? Without interest in taste people wouldn’t want the taste of meat for instance, saving us huge amounts of land needed for live stock and lowering the emissions of green house gasses produced. 

'Identify 1 artist whose work influences the debate about our future. Write notes on why their work is interesting to you and what effect it creates on its audience and how it does this. Write about why this subject specialism interests you as a future career'

Our planet is at such a turning point. If we carry on down this path our current way of living won’t be a viable option for long. Time noble and Sue Webster’s works which turns trash into treasures by utilising the symbiotic relationship between light and shadow shows that if we shine a little light on a desperate situation we can create something beautiful out of the rubble that previous actions/ generations have created. A lot of my views/ predictions of the future are very sceptical. I like the positivity this works sparks in my consciousness. In their work they use a lot of phallic imagery, including pieces like old dildos and nude silhouettes. My natural response to this is to think that they are emphasising the raw animal Instincts humans still have embedded in them. Maybe they are trying to create a contrast between the ‘random’ pile of junk, fuelled by pure instinct and the crisp/ perfect shadow of the human left over at the end. An ordered/ figurative structure, emerging from the chaos.

Their work has always been a huge inspiration to me because of their very free flowing concepts and ideas spanning across different areas of art. I discovered them after looking into artists who’s work incorporated light in a figurative manner, after the creation of my own ‘junk’ which cast recognisable shadows during my Art A-level. Their process of transformation echoes the idea of ‘perceptual psychology’; a form of evaluation used for psychological patients. This emphasis on perspective, the relationship between the beholder and the work itself, has always held massive amounts of significance to me. I could look at a piece and have it trigger a deep emotional response whilst a seemingly similar person could admire the same work and just see it as its raw materials.

Psychology as a subject and it’s heavy influence of art (from the artists and the viewers side) has always been an area of interest to me personally, as I have close members of the family with psychotic disorders. Art that is taken from a place of discomfort, or that triggers discomfort in the viewer, I almost find comforting. I like to be made to stop, and have to think about what I’m actually looking at. I’m currently reading a book called ‘Bacon and the Mind’, which is an analysis of Francis Bacon’s life from the points of view of five neuroscientists, psycho analysts and psychiatrists. This book has given me a much deeper understanding of the routes of our decision making as artists. The smallest influences that make us choose a certain colour or material, are almost predetermined in our psyche.

To back track a little bit, I think that Tim noble and Sue Webster’s work using a range of materials and methodologies has a similar creative process to my own (most likely due to their influence, but it’s a bit of a chicken/ egg situation). Through fast pace and messy pieces, all the way to controlled larger immersive instillation work with a powerful impact and concept on the beholder. With my passion for high impact, larger scale instillation work in mind, I think I probably am swaying towards either the Fine Art or 3D design route, but having done work in fashion (with no former training in the area) I would love to explore this route also, which is why I chose the diagnostic course. I’m hoping that as we explore the areas more practically I will find a clearer path.

The reason I came up with this idea of repetition when given the word expand (eg expanding in numbers), and was drawn towards the concept on humanities overlooked repetitive everyday processes was because of my own personal views on our eating/ food collecting habits. I have a strong belief that humanity should be getting their meat from bugs rather then live stock. This opinion doesn’t come from a lack of fondness of meat, I just believe we have this stigmatism against insects for being ‘gross’. However our live stock takes up huge amounts of land and just one cow pumps out between 70kg and 120kg of methane a year. Bearing in mind the effect methane has to the acceleration of climate change is 23 times higher then the effect of carbon dioxide. To show an example of the process I have in mind; rice fields in places such as Bali have a layer of water over them, in which they have started using fish as a natural fertiliser. This process avoids using harmful chemicals and has actually increased crop yields. At the end of the season, not only can the rice be harvested, but so can the fish. Bearing this in mind, and the fact that exponentially larger amounts of crops are being grown underground each year, we can consider applying this practice to our crop farms. Using certain insects as a natural fertiliser, and without disrupting any ecosystems due to the underground farms being their own closed ecosystems. This train of thought allowed me to include our ideas factory task of imagining a world with no smell. Without smell our taste would be highly impaired. Maybe without a sense of taste we wouldn’t eat for pleasure, just as a necessity. Therefore our stigmatism against eating something we would consider out of the ordinary, or even a little bit disgusting, wouldn’t matter anymore, and systems like this would be a lot easier to enforce.

This piece is indented to be very large, with the processing machine channelling around the room for the viewer to walk amongst. I wanted to include the viewers within the piece to physically demonstrate their direct involvement as individuals.

Jan's work:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJHF4zi-K6A

My video of rubber destruction:

https://youtu.be/Y4DtxS5lmXc

I found yesterday’s studies very enjoyable, as portraiture and studying accurate structure instead of the predicted ones made by our subconsciousnesses have always been something I’ve enjoyed. The blind drawing disciplines you to look  at and analyse your subject in a much deeper way then you normally would, and the continuous line drawing technique encourages a very organic fluidity to the forms you are shaping. I think this is key when drawing figures/ portraitures. The last 2D pieces we made were collages made from life from our own previous prints. I loved how the collaging challenges pushed me out of my comfort zone to explore visuals I wouldn’t otherwise know how to approach creating. 

In the second half of the day we came out of our pages and into the third dimension. I have always been a very tactile person. My friends mother who is a psychoanalyst once told me that people receive love in different ways. Such as through words, through physical gifts, and through touch. She told me that I personally heavily swayed towards receiving love in a tactile way. This thought ran through my head as we were exploring fashion and textiles for the first time yesterday. I loved the relationship between the literal structure/ form and conveying the mood and feel of a piece onto paper using any materials at your disposal. I think this could potentially be a path that I could be successful at. 

Today I found myself thinking about the fashion module, and the concept of capturing a mood. In my free time I often write. They aren’t all poems or stories, I just call them words. I think I’m going to start putting together a sketch book of these words and using textures and illustrations to capture the mood of the pieces. I think if I had the opportunity to do the fashion course I’d love to be able to make these words into garments. After all, in a world where depression, anxiety, loneliness, self-harm and suicide rates are at an all-time high.

Shouldn’t we be wearing our thoughts on our sleeves?

Example 1: “Bravery doesn’t mean having to go it alone.

Having to face your demons every night in the quiet of your mind because your so ‘strong’.

The strength to physically fight doesn’t mean you have to revert back to the way of a cave man and use your fists, When the superiority of reason has taken over.

In a physical way, a weight shared is a weight halved.

So don’t be strong.

Expose yourselves for your weaknesses.

The devils aren’t hiding anymore if you look under the bed.

Maybe you’re only scared because they’re strangers.

So don’t stay strong.

Stay mighty little one,

and stop twisting the dark into imaginary dangers.”

Example 2:

“My favourite euphoria isn’t the loud moments.

It’s the hidden ones.

The ones just for you.

When you’re mundanely waiting on the tube platform like you do everyday.

But today, everyone scatters.

Your alone, unseen by the world and your favourite song comes on.

You can close your eyes and fly.

Dance like not a sole can see you.

Feel that rush of air pushing your adrenaline.

And then, as moments do, It passes.

More unknown faces show up and your audience is back.

So you pull yourself back down for the crowd. And get back into your little society shaped box. “

Example 3:

“When we look in the mirror we don’t see ourselves.

We see a projection of things we love and things we hate,

Until we blur the details together, and this empty thing in a pretty wrapper stares back at us.

You can try to keep this perfect facade

but when you smile, Properly smile.

And let yourself live a little, the world rubs it off.

You become imperfect, wrinkled and flawed.

You become yourself.

And you are beautiful.”

Example 4:

“I’ve been getting these butterflies.

Through my body, in my stomach.

Sometimes it’s a good thing.

Pushing yourself, trying new things.

Sometimes it consumes you.

You feel starving and weak, and the butterflies, fluttering, make it all seem wrong and backwards and you can’t keep it down.

The only thing that you can keep inside you is the reason why you feel so shit

because you don’t know.

Why? I don’t know.

So all you’re left with is your butterflies,

and the most you can do is hope that your unique butterflies are a little bit beautiful.”

Example 5:

“Stop staring at that little screen.

At the perfect people in the perfect places.

Looking at the perfect model who claims she embraces

That body positivity bullshit.

Knowing full well that they’d never admit,

How much they stretch and smooth themselves into unobtainable perfection,

And make you hate your own gorgeous reflection.

Somehow, even as the giant looking at the tiny people on the little screen they make you feel small.

So stop staring at that little screen, the screen doesn’t matter at all.

Look at yourself through the eyes of your friends.

That massive smile staring back is a reflection of what your outputting onto the world.

Stop living this game of pretend.”

Example 6:

“Why do we move the way that we move?

Why do we think and feel this way,

In our own secret bubble, When all that we display

Is a little smile just trying to prove

That we are normal. We fit in.

But glances and pauses give us away.

So why do we move the way that we move?

Our little mannerisms and individualities,

Maybe they just show a tiny bit of clarity

Just to those who care enough to see it...”

Having studied physics for A-level I have a natural fascination in the area. Studying space was always my favourite module of the course. The endless, unquantifiable possibilities and vast unknown sends my mind to places of questioning. Questioning the things we call ‘fact’ and the very concept of the reality that we live in. After all, for each theorem aren’t there numerous disproved theories? Didn’t we once believe that the atom was the smallest thing? That the earth was flat? That the sun and planets revolved around us, with earth at the centre of the solar system? What other scientific ‘facts’ are wrong? Or not wrong, but maybe just the tiniest piece of the full picture. The universe is so beautiful. The patterns that emerge from it, echoing throughout ours and the next. Spiralling, repeating through all of creation, we have scientific patterns. For example the Fibonacci sequence. A trail of numbers that emerges throughout nature to carve physical spirals throughout our known world. My biggest inspiration has always been accepting the reality we we are able to perceive for its beauty, and questioning that which is imperceivable. Iris Van Herpen has always been a huge inspiration to me for her physics inspired pieces. Visualising scientific principles into the most gorgeous garments. Their contrast of delicate materials made into bold, attentions demanding structures. She even did a line in which she envisions a future where humans, flowers and animals live in harmony and even develop into a hybrid state. What if, taking the scientific information we already have about humanity and the space we live in, I can harness that to pose questions. Not just about our physical reality but also the man made societal churning structure of repetition we are all trapped in. Visualising my questions, my doubts, into physical forms or garments so maybe more people can question their state of existence.

Example 7:

“While our bodies are fragile our mind still evolves.

Put us against a beast and it will devour us for dinner.

But surround us with this man made armour of technological advances

and we are more powerful then the very earth we stand on.

We have reached a level of god-like power.

With the capability to create life.

To manipulate an embryo.

A tiny beautiful miracle.

But is it a miracle?

Or was the ‘creator’,

this powerful deity we look up to,

was it always science?

And if we reach a level of intelligence, a higher understanding of her all powerful majesty,

Can we take control of the reigns?

So I ask you,

were we created in God’s image?

Or did we create God as a scientific goal to reach?

The question is, are we there yet?”

Example 8:

“Why does it feel like we’re playing out an algorithm?

Just scanning your oyster and going through the little turnstile we call life,

Moving in the rhythm of ‘mind the gap’,

And following the little blue line on the map,

But the sad thing is, we coded it for our selves.

We used to live. Actually live.

A life with no boarders but now all we give Is restriction.

We think adventure only exists in stories of fiction.

We grow up and change ourselves to fit

But in reality all we’ve done is pampered ourselves into one tiny part of a massive churning pile of shit.”

Example 9:

“What actually makes us human?

They call us ‘human beings’, but at what point are we just ‘being’,

and not so much ‘human’?

We’re the only species aware of our surrounds.

So much so that we choose to cover our natural appearance to save it from embarrassment.

Being human means experiencing reality.

So how do we end up living as the absentee

In our own stories?

Learning. Thinking. Pushing ourselves to always try and get one step closer to our perceived perfection.

And if ignorance truly is bliss, then we live in hell.

And if their is a higher entity, I propose he has us working like slaves under his spell.”

Example 10:

“What if this is all a dream.

And when someone dies they are really just waking up.

Imagine. Imagine if all the unborn babies could communicate.

They would think that life was 9 months long.

After that they lost their communications and their friends were gone. Dead.

They would have no idea that’s when life was really just starting.

What if this place we all live in is like one big womb.

A collective space for the existence of consciousnesses put into physical forms for the explainability of our narrow minds.

And death isn’t death.

It’s birth into the next round of existence. “

Example 11:

“Sometimes I feel like a number being crunched.

Just one amongst the masses.

Like they have to churn billions of people through the same algorithm until the find an anomaly in the system.

Someone who doesn’t confine themselves to the limit of reason.

And within this ever churning system,

only the outliers can yield change.”

I would absolutely love to start combining visual creations with my words. Creating garments and experimenting with photography, video work. I could see the garments eventually being displayed in a fashion show with the words being read over speakers, or even by the models them-selves. 

I found the product design day challenging at first. I’m a fan of making and visualising ideas but I normally focus more on the conceptual side and the visualisation of that rather then having a strong emphasis on functionality. The products I found myself creating weren’t practical and I think may have been a little too outside of the box. When thinking about where my ideas could lead in terms of research I could see its potential and lots of potential different pathway for the work, but it wasn’t sparking as much interest in me as the other modules. This was actually a very informative day for me because I have previously considered going down the product design route, so I think I needed this clarity. Maybe I could do making in, not a more creative way, but a differently creative way.

I think the structure of this Wednesday’s critical thinking was really effective. If you asked me to do a detailed description of a TV remote I probably wouldn’t come up with anything out of the ordinary. The way we built from words, to phrases then to the full description allowed me to really analyse the forms and structures I was witnessing. A memorable quote from the day: ‘Don’t try to create and analyse at the same time’.

When flicking through the artists/ makers I realised (with the more hands on approaches in particular) how much artists work is often heavily influenced by their own personal experiences/ journeys through life, not just their own views on certain issues. I have only recently started to see the connection between certain life events for myself and my art so found this parallel of interest.

I loved the freedom in today’s sculpture day. The pure variety around the rooms was beautiful. Personally, I find my work does end up building towards the 3rd dimension like in today’s practice. However it always leads there naturally as I find the confinements of a page/ canvas can become too limiting as a project develops. So today, jumping straight into sculpture without the preparation and research, I found didn’t produce my best work. 

Answers to the questions posed at the end of the Fine Art -Sculpture day:

I don’t think it matters if the initial words the artist was responding to is visually clear. It is an interpretation reflecting each artists unique thought process, and isn’t that the point of art? To demonstrate a personal response to the world around you to be expressed to and seen by others.

In my opinion I think the most effective pieces are the ones responding to the space. Interacting with the world around them. However this maybe my personal admiration of instillation rather than sculpture coming through. I found the piece incorporating light to be the most effective as it drew the eye in and I found it to be the most immersive.

Experimentation providing surprises and unintentional outcome in work is hugely important. It allows the making to interact with their initial physical responses in a hands on way and see where that material could lead them in terms of imagery. I think this is key when approaching the construction of any three dimensional displays.  

Without this experimentation I don’t think my final piece could have been designed. I actually ended up incorporating what I considered a less successful outcome within my final piece after combining it with my response that followed that one.

future career as an instillation artist:

• Lots of pitches/ explaining your work to investors.
• Displaying work/ looking for spaces.
• Film industry
• Museums
• Galleries
• Independent work developing unique spaces for customers/ audiences.

I found the feedback very helpful because not only did it make me think deeper into my work (when answering their questions) but it also helped me fill gaps in my presented information for the future. 

Feedback:

* Well executed.

* Good explanation.

* Q: What would you do with the left over rubber shavings? A: Actually now that you ask me that I’m thinking that I could recycle them overnight back into rubber form so that the machine isn’t causing waste.

* What scale would this be and where would you want it to be? It would be a good idea to say this in your presentation to give a clearer idea of scale, or sketch the audience (I have since added a little side note in my sketch book).

I found textiles workshop a bit challenging at first because of the nature of the 1min studies feeling so incomplete. However as we worked trough different techniques I grew to see the beauty in each one. Blocking out certain objects/ colours brought an abstract representation of which pieces in particular stood out personally to me. As a stand alone piece I wasn’t a huge fan of the end result. However I saw how coupling this with techniques such as the fast continuous line method could yield some very visually satisfying results. In fact, for the final project of the day (drawing our strung together objects) I actually used the ‘blocking out method’ which I initially didn’t think was particularly for me. I used collage to block out certain objects and then used continuous line over the top to convey the full image. I think this was an effective method because it gave a good feel for what was happening on the wall without giving a literal still life representation. I think that I would definitely use this method again in the future.

I actually really shocked myself with the volume of work I produced today. I loved the method of experimental working and started by focusing on a very simple concept of removing something from my eye line. I did this by applying two blobs of acrylic paint to a sheet of Perspex, going out into the world and seeing where it fit. Starting with the obvious, like faces, and finding happy accidents like it lining up with the fire alarms and windows on buildings. I thought the results were interesting but they didn’t inspire a certain path to be followed. So I moved onto something that focuses more on the process. Starting with imagery from a magazine, I selected a portrait, screwed it up, violently applied an ink/ water mix, waited for it to dry and then unwrinkled it back into its original shape and observed the damage made. I love the unpredictability of the mark making. I feel like the process of removal of information is almost set on random which I’m quite enjoying, so expanded to play with words (taken from books and my own writing). Each piece completely unique and with different words being covered, the meaning of the message as a whole is completely up to fate. The point of my writing is trying to get thoughts out that are I feel aren’t fully hear or understood. Why, instead of trying to make people see things from my perspective, don’t I just leave things be. Leave them to be never fully read. Never fully understood. I thought what could I use instead of ink. What would this prices look like if I used substances that chemically rejected each other, so the nature of where they land is completely random. After experimenting with different mediums and completing some little textural studies, I found that what I was incidentally examining was the idea of isolation and separation. This almost brought my work back around, full circle. The concept was physically mimicking the message behind a lot of the written pieces talking about perspective and the loneliness within each one of us. This individual pod of consciousness we all reside in. Isn’t that isolation in itself? Existence? So went off on a little tangent, exploring different textures which I then added little isolated wire figures to. From here I thought I had enough experimentation to start to build something on a slightly larger scale to bring all the parts I considered most successful together. I repeated one poem throughout the piece, whilst removing the context surrounding each sentence by physically removing layers. I stuck the same poem to itself, face to face, then ripped them apart. Removing their information by achieving subtraction by addition. The end result left pieces of the poem in a sort of puzzle configuration. I'm repeating this with the same poem for each board. I was thinking; with so much information streaming through our brains, our minds have become lazy. Pieces like this make you work to see the full picture and create a divide in society. A divide between those who seek out information. Who grab life by the balls and question the things around them, and those who are just sleepwalking through it. I see individual people as part of a larger system, like an electrical circuit. Some of us are just part of the wires. Streaming information and passing it on like a disease carrier. Others are functioning components. A piece like this that requires a little effort to be understood allows us to answer the question. Are you a wire, or are you a component?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPjnxVcmQDQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_DGHNbTjVM

My initial visual reactions to Bacon’s pieces were that each one was almost dissected. Like he was drawing a map of how he sees the world and chooses to interpret our dimensions rather than directly translating an accurate depiction. Before reading about his history I was unsure on the meaning of the content of his imagery, but new it came from a place of passion. Dark passion. The strong reds and dark colour schemes, the bold mark making/ brush strokes and the ambiguity of his humanoid creatures. Like a personification of his dark inner thoughts, combining to create these twisted figures. The stuff of nightmares. Wanting to look into the story behind his creations coupled with my fascination of the function of the mind, I started reading the book ‘Bacon and the Mind’. An analysis of Bacon’s work and life from the point of view off five academics specialising in Art, Neuroscience, Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis. 

Not only did their writing confirm my initial analysis but also created this huge twisted map of Bacon’s life. Christopher Bucklow talks about the inside voice that guided Bacon’s hand. For Bacon it wasn’t just a voice in his head, but a secondary source of instruction, his ‘poetic anti-self’ he named ‘Daimon’. He visualises this personification of his subconscious mind in the Three Studies for Figures at the Base of a Crucifixion, 1944. Bucklow refers to Bacon’s fascination and ability to recite Eliot’s The Waste Land by heart and I think that Bacon may have drawn accidental parallels from this inspiration into his own work. When reading this poem I observed a detailed description of the dark scenery and heavy repetition, especially noticing the line that reads; ‘…come in under the shadow of this red rock…’ which I think may have influenced his colour choice in this series of three, showing this tormented form on the red background. After all his personal connection with this poem might stem from a found comfort and understanding in its words; ‘who is the third who walks always beside you? When I count, there are only you and I together, but when I look ahead up the white road there is another one walking beside you…’.

I think that Bacon was almost at war with himself. Mentally struggling to process that in which Daimon has commanded of him. This struggle displaying itself in his work is what I find so fascinating. The warped planes, visual paradoxes, spatial ambiguities and contradictions that visualise ‘… the non-spatial directionality that the spaces of the mind have’, and the almost visually violating creatures created from his dark subconscious. For example the isolated and screaming mouths that echo through his work relate back to the childhood trauma surrounding his asthma and the humiliation of failing ‘to meet his expectations of bodily prowess’. Bacon admitted to being sexually attracted to his father, but as we know he is drawn towards this feeling of vulnerability. Even the way he paints the mouths, with the teeth in rows of squares, personally makes me think of both equestrian and childlike connotations, which is interesting because Bacon’s father was a racehorse trainer. The structures themselves are depicted in a very childish interpretation. As one imagines teeth, not the reality of the subject matter. His use of white paint squeezed directly from the tube onto the canvas during his pieces from 1968-1969 which could have been suggestive of ejaculation, relating back Bacon’s sadomasochistic homoerotic tendencies towards his Father. His works always visually coming back to his fascination and even enjoyment of vulnerability and pain. As Bacon himself beautifully put it (in an interview with David Sylvester), the ‘greatest art… always returns you to the vulnerability of the human situation’.

Similarly with my own work, I often have a message, a feeling or a collection of words in mind and approach a blank plane with no visual expectations and just do what comes naturally. I recently painted a piece entitled ‘My Mother’s Dresser’ on one of my darker days with similar emotional methodologies to Bacon. I approached the blank plane, put in a base colour (one I find homely and comforting) and used a brush to guide a ‘spaceframe’ onto the back ground. Using these guidelines I mapped out a physically impossible dresser from which I hung a melting man who utilised one of the many hangers. The spatial ambiguities where a visualisation of my childhood confusion surrounding my mother’s habit of trying on men like outfits, a different one for each occasion. The bold whites mimicking the wasted children of the young men she lures into this hanging space.  

However, recently my own work has been directly transferring my written words onto surfaces using a ranch of techniques aimed to challenge the viewer and make them work to see the full picture. I was leaning into the individuality of each viewer and allowing them to see as much as they were comfortable with. Maybe next I should be more bold, more commanding like Bacon. Rather than allowing the freedom of perspective to dominate the piece I should try and pull in a captive audience and command concentration. At this point in my life as an artist I don’t struggle with passion or a message. If anything I struggle to narrow my mind into a little socially acceptable sized box to be judged by others. I struggle to find an output which I think best encapsulates my thinking into a visual to be witnessed, ‘representing the patterns of one’s mental state by means of a physical medium’. I feel so inspired by Bacon’s ability to paint what he feels rather than what he sees, ‘…distorting the body ‘into reality’…’. Maybe that’s why at the end of this week I think that I am finding myself swaying towards the Fine Art course for its process of experimentation and exploration in such a free flowing manner across a huge range of methodologies. Like Bacon himself said ‘You have to gamble with your current success to take the work to the next level’.

I found the video by Samuel Beckett very thought provoking. I found my focus shifting from the mind bending hypnotic imagery to the read words. The simple yet powerful imagery is so mesmerising is so easy to lose yourself in. My initial thought was that this is a visualisation of the thought process (the fast pace ramblings almost seeming like the pace of dream or a drink/drugs enhances rant). Then focussing in on the inflections of the words I found that the variation in pace and volume made myself the viewer feel very uneasy and almost anxious, further observing that this unsettled way of talking actually sounded to me like someone talking backwards. I found it funny that we were shown this piece so shortly after creating my own short video. I use hypnotic imagery and the spoken word and a heavily enforced idea or repetition, in the swinging pendulum, the echoing words and the content of the words themselves. I find it interesting how many parallels there are between my recent work and Beckett’s whilst having such dramatically different outcomes and impacts on the observer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4LDwfKxr-M

The space that I choose was walking through a common near my house:

A solid ground beneath my shoes with spots of light to wonder between. The light scatters the shadows of the harsh metallic structures into many, letting them interact with the leaves. Holding their ground as the organic world gives away to itself and plays with the wind. The breeze itself is gentle, not cold until it pulls the dew off the green and onto my cheeks. I stick to the man-made guidelines to keep the dew off my shoes as I get closer to the whooshing sound of the faster travellers, with the smell of contrast in the air.

In response to Ella’s writing about her on a train platform in the city:

As your train arrives you look around and observe the stillness of the non-interactions around you. The quietness of the passengers almost feels loud. The glances and paranoid avoidance to keep yourself within your own bubble makes you want to scream. You feel your jaw expand in to an involuntary stretch, wrinkling your previously poised face into an open abyss of white noise. Echoing the vibrations from your throat into the rattling of the rails, the wind pulling the sound from your mouth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4LDwfKxr-M

 After watching Samuel Beckett’s video, ‘Not I’ I wanted to explore his work further. The hypnotic imagery and emphasis on repetition is echoed in my own video work (which I have hardly even touched the surface of yet). My initial thought was that this is a visualisation of the thought process (the fast pace ramblings almost seeming like the pace of dream or a drink/drugs enhanced rant). Then focussing in on the inflections of the words I found that the variation in pace and volume made myself the viewer feel very uneasy and almost anxious, further observing that this unsettled way of talking actually sounded to me like someone talking backwards. After looking into the context of the highly ambiguous piece I discovered that this woman never spoke until here epiphany in the field and then could not stop speaking. Beckett likened her character to the hundreds of old broken-down Irish women seen in rural regions who never seem to speak. They just blend into their background like ‘an autumn leaf two weeks free of the tree’. Posing the question, who speaks for them? Maybe this relentless mouth is harnessing their lost voices. Perhaps the mouth won’t stop babbling on because this old, mad woman’s mind is aged. Her wires; frayed. I think Beckett wanted a lot of ambiguity. Ambiguity does not necessarily mean lacking purpose or intent, it just means ‘not specified’. Samuel Beckett’s work and my own made me wonder to myself. What medically makes a thought? What creates and idea?

            The Scientific American blog poses the concept that ‘Ideas originate from pregnant minds, just as babies from the bellies of their mothers. What makes a mind fertile?’ ‘... the freedom to venture without the confines of traditional thinking or the burden of practical concerns’. Whilst the visual provided here is interesting I think personally I have explored the process of braking down the self-made boarders we map in our own minds. I want to know the physicality of the process. The medicine, the science to explain it. I am not a religious person, I’m actually quite anti religion. I have the personal belief that in the past we used ‘God’ to explain the things we didn’t have answers for. I think that this concept and the hope it brings to people was harnessed by governing powers to manipulate the masses by providing a concept of consequences for ones actions. I need something scientific to believe in, and this doesn’t mean I live without hope or wonder or believe in nothing bigger than us. I believe that the beauty of science itself is the largest ‘entity’ we could ever possibly perceive in our very limited minds. A website entitled ‘Science Daily’ revealed a research experiment that attempted to find out how our brains form creative and original ideas (Nov 2015). Using a FMRI scanner to examine the subjects brain activity they discovered that the area of the brain that had increased function during the experiment was the area associated with background activity. The area a person uses when they are not concentrating, similar to daydreaming. I thought this was kind of beautiful. The idea that we always have this creativity in the back of our minds, tucked away while more urgent tasks dominate, then allowed to roam when we enter personal quietness. What would happen in a space without the distractions of life commanding the attention of our minds. A ‘sensory deprivation’ space for example. I think I’m going to have to try this out for myself: https://floatworks.com/ . Until this time I’m doing to start setting alarms for the middle of the night and immediately write down exactly what thoughts are running through my mind. Then use these words to create a visual of the subconscious sleeping mind. I’d like to make this a collection, perhaps of portraits including these words for each subject (although I’m aware that finding participants may be a challenge).

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/where-do-ideas-come-from/

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/11/151119104105.htm

I loved the JFFA day. I got to see that when they refer to jewellery or accessorise you can come up with complex, out side of the box, conceptual ideas. They don't have to be every-day functional/ wearable products but can just be work of art in their own right if you want them to be. I love brainstorming the one minute ideas. I think my most successful ones were:

A sideways 'halo' that encircles the face, keeping the jaw closed. This accessory visualises the outdated views that women should be 'seen and not heard', when they are encircled with beauty the mouth is forced shut. 

Headpieces suspended from the ceiling that block out all senses apart from sound, which is used to communicate with the other headpieces via bluetooth devices. I made the moulds using tin foil (real ones would be make of a stronger metal material, silver?) When the moulds were complete I observed they had a skull shape. Which is seemingly obvious but the extended front of the face was a lot more prominent then I had thought before making the moulds. I think that these skeletal connotations are channelling the atmosphere of the piece. Stripping us right back to basics as an individual. The models also told me that while they had the pieces fitted around them, it felt 'comforting' and 'warm'. I felt like this project bridged the gap between the JFFA and Instillation. 

Videos of the piece: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjEOJjgkY6o&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR3zd8NdwkMmQST5pxSJVVxJtb5JwX_q2FdFPJsKKR45TzY-EzL3PF6y-fs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9NYNHVeTC0&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR2htb6ILakgLtwWVxjmMXwwF20JFm1aT1J_cyw6MuwPwwwOV5ooTtBd-0Q

A pair of earrings connected by a stiff metal pod to shoulder braces to stop you from being able to constantly looking down at your phone. 

A piece of magnifying glass that spans across the face and crips to the side of the head into the hair. It allows you to see the little things in life that are taken for granted and usually overlooked. 

A 'fringe' that attaches to the wearer with clips at the top of the head. The fringe covers the eyes and has a slight diffraction grating which lightly distorts the light into brighter, rainbow colours. Made for people with depression to make the world brighter and more beautiful. The inspiration for this particular piece was from a spontaneous video i made the other day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkxhqFLOR5k&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR3pWsHId4qTWp_q6h9l6gy2RVrJPzIFsIG5K9DDh16A0cTeHXZ1YEj_jM0 

(unfortunately the quality isn't as good as the original when i uploaded it onto youtube, but the twisting rainbow is what inspired this concept.) 

Thoughts following the day:

Where did jewellery and the original concept of it begin? Did it start by wanting objects near to the body? Desiring the objects of loved ones or lost ones physically close to us? Even animals give objects to each other for courting purposes. Otters and penguins give rocks to each other, they try to find the smoothest most beautiful ones and spend days searching. Birds use beauty and colour on their feathers to attracts mates. Beauty and the need to display it is embedded in our animal instincts. 

'I am a 20 year old artist based in south London studying at Central St Martins. I like my work to provoke questions in the experiencer, and pay special attention to the individuality of each artist/ viewer interaction. Each person will have a unique physical and emotional interaction with each individual piece. This is achieved by conceptual thinking and repetition of experimental processes using a board range of methodologies.' 

'The aim of this product is not entrapment, but freedom. Freedom from the fear and judgment that can stem from first impressions. Both on a materialistic level, but also for those who suffer from social anxiety. I hope the bluetooth devices embedded in the head pieces can allow the experiencer to be witnessed for what they have to say, without the restrictions of race, mental conditions, visual gender assumption and expectations, age, social or economical standings or appearance.' 

For the ‘light’ look I actually transformed the model into a light/ lamp using a lamp shade/ head piece. I loved the anonymity achieved by draping fabrics around and in front of the models face. The focus was mainly around this aspect, so the body was dressed in a trench coat which fitted in the colour scheme of the look. I called the look, 'Lights on. No one home.'. 

The fabric over the face in the ‘dark’ look achieved this same anonymity but almost personified it by layering the glasses and hat over. Rather then being transformed into an object like the previous look, we just took away the individuality of the model. This could be me, this could be you, this could be anyone. I think the same idea was achieved by splicing the two jackets together over the body. One worn over each should and buttoned together at the front.

For the hybrid look I thought it would be nice to maintain the ‘half and half’ aspect of the dark look, draping a jacket over one shoulder. Maintaining the 'hybrid' concept we used a feminine fishnet top, with hanging yarn for soft movement, which contrasted the stuff structured men's jacket. We carried the lamp shade head piece forward into this look and wrapped a strip of colour coordinated silk around the model's eyes, and called the look 'blinded femininity'. 

For the ‘block colour’ look we started simply by pinning some fabric onto the body to create a cubist look. Then I thought to myself what if we block out certain parts of the body. Exaggerate them into these larger blocks. So I then created two extended sleeves, a green silk to just below the knee and a white closed tubular sleeve with a ball at the bottom. This sleeve in particular had beautiful movement and swung like a pendulum almost like a 3rd leg. Videos produced by the look: 

I thought for the ‘oversized’ look I’d go for something simple and let the fabric speak for itself through movement. The look itself was very simple but when the model was immersed in it, it became more interesting, almost like being immersed in a fluid, with the model holding black yarn to mimic the movement and fluidity of the silk.  We called this look 'Immersive Fluidity'. This was probably my favourite outcome of the whole day because I loved how simple and almost boring the piece looked in its natural shape, draped over the standing model, compared to the beautiful undulating shapes and twisting textures created when contorted by the model. Would this piece have made interesting video outcomes if I used wind to accentuate the natural movement of the fabric?

For the ‘fitted’ look, I thought about tight clothes, maybe clothes that are trapping? So decided to go for a straight jacket look with netting (like a trapping fish net) detail on the head, above a physically limiting perspex screen covering the face. We called this look 'Transfixed Asphyxiation'. 

We called the patterned look 'Dazzle Camouflage', because I thought the strong bold patterns actually allowed this look to be immersed by and almost blend into the brick textured back ground in the photos. Like the bold 'dazzle camouflage' patterns printed on shapes to hide their location and make them harder to attack. 

I liked the aspect of finding strange ways to interpret and originate shapes from this day. Going into the world and finding abstract shapes within man made structures and selecting them to create a 3D wearable structure, but did find the process was very dragged out. I felt like my outcome was successful and I find the shapes in my images interesting. They almost look organic which contrasts their man made place of origin. However throughout this day I found my mind was very blank, it didn't spark inspiration. This is probably because it was a very practical day, full of small hands on tasks and I prefer to pull my inspiration from a conceptual place. 

So far, I've had lots of ideas, lots of concepts, I've known I want to include my words somehow and I know I want my project to be in the ‘Fine Art’ area.  

I have been struggling to find a single visual outcome that I feel satisfied with, that fully encompasses the full feel of the concept I have in my head. Trying to turn my ramblings into a visual outcome that can speak to other people the way my ideas speak to me. Last night I woke up with the faint memory of a moment in one of my dreams and wrote it down straight away: ‘I had this image of a chair surrounded by fans. Instead of a person seated on the chair, there was just these beautiful flowing silks, being pushed around by the [winds from the] fans. They spun around the chair, immersing it, interacting with its structure and contrasting its static energy with movement. Dancing with it.’. I loved how this idea came to me in a dream because it relates back to my previous research looking into the origin of an idea in the human brain. I think this thought may have stemmed from the ‘oversized’ look created in the Fashion Communication workshop, as it was my favourite outcome of the day. As I said previously in my workflow: ‘I loved how simple and almost boring the piece looked in its natural shape, draped over the standing model, compared to the beautiful undulating shapes and twisting textures created when contorted by the model. Would this piece have made interesting video outcomes if I used wind to accentuate the natural movement of the fabric?’.

What would happen if I used string? Would it twist or tangle? What about something lightweight but solid? Like ping pong balls? What about free flowing silk? Does it need an inanimate object to interact with? Do the materials need context through these objects or should they be left to explore the space freely? What about with a model? Pushing the fabric onto the models face (idea of entrapment/ suffocation) or body using the wind or letting in dance around the model. Or should the model be dancing with the fabric? Should the fabric be solid or transparent (like organza)? These are all ideas I will need to experiment with. Seeing which of these organic/ random movements trigger what emotional responses in the viewer and what connotations I get from each video outcome. From there I’ll be able to draw lines between the visual and audio and see what clips work and don’t work coupled with different collections of words. I was thinking today that other sounds/ music worked effectively coupled with the words in my previous video and I would like the play with that again. I went to a performance art piece the other day by Oskar Schlemmer which had very captivating and almost hypnotic music that made the experiencer feel pretty uneasy and anxious. A similar effect to Samuel Beckett’s video (which I love and have previously written about), therefore I think I’m going to need to have a little play around with these sounds when approaching the creation of my own 4D pieces. (I need to do more research to find the source of the music from his show).

I have gone through my previous writing on workflow and put into bold the segments of my thoughts and research that provide the mental backdrop of this idea so I can keep referring back to my research and inspiration during the initial experimental stage of this project. 

Another collection of words I wrote in the middle of the same night (I actually have no recollection of writing this):

The porridge of our minds

that keeps us behind them.

The gloop that they feed us

to keep us beside

them.

Following a line of our own creation.

Imaginary lines

to stop us from crossing into the boundless beauty that we all reside in

These boarders of freedom and knowledge to defy them.

So here we stay.

So loyally.

In our little play

pen

In the shape of society.

Ignore the lines and just be.

You’re loyally following,

Happily frolicking

in the fields of knowledge

But only the pretty parts they’ll let us see.

• I much prefer to self-generate than following a brief, so I have taken this brief and tried to look at it a little differently.
•  ‘explore the ego’ – it think in this modern day and using modern technology that the ego is a façade. That the projection people display of themselves is nothing but hiding their perceived ‘flaws’ and accentuating the parts of them they see as socially acceptable. With connection brings isolation. We show this anti-ego. A strong, ‘beautiful’ version of the ‘self’, projected into the world to cover your own insecurities. Smiling for the camera, not smiling because you feel happy.
•  When exploring what I like to call the ‘anti-ego’ and self-doubt caused by a lack of feeling like the ‘self’ is even significant in comparison to the overwhelming numbers of humanity, I thought that the imagery should have a darker feeling to it, maybe in the colour scheme and lighting of the videos.
• In the brief it’s mentioned that we should use our camera phones and explore our personal connection with them. I liked the rawness of the imperfect phone camera. The shaky hands. The way they are used and warn just like the subject. Smashed phones from our symbiotic silent partner’s constant presence in all our activities, so the cameras focus is imperfect. The 'human error' is involved in the video. Like Andy Warhol’s videos where he fed off the imperfections. Allowing the mic into the shot and leaving in the camera’s accidental slip ups away from its place.
•  “In Warhol’s work and writing, he points out, over and over, that beauty has this close relationship with pain” “His own anxieties become manifested into the work” -The Andy Warhol Museum’s Associate Curator of Art Jessica Beck notes. (www.warhol.org)
•  https://news.artnet.com/exhibitions/andy-warhol-films-1387729
•  My work often has subconscious/ unplanned sexual connotations. Does this come from certain imperfections in my own sexual past? Much like the hidden desire in Warhol’s work emerging from his own (at the time) frowned upon sexuality.

• The lack of a model in certain clips represents a lack of the self. Lack of self-identity. Rise of the era of confusion and sense of ‘lost’. One is so pushed to feel like everyone is better. The grass is always greener. That everyone is left trying to follow every pretty path they can find. Just to find themselves trapped in the middle of the cross road stuck between every direction. Who are you? Which person do you want to be today? Which way will you go? Which beautiful mask will you chose to wear tomorrow? In an age of ultra-connection and hyper comparison, maybe you should put your phone down and browse the web of your mind for happiness and meaning.
• Medium inspired by the fashion communication day. The organic movements of the fabric (taken from our ‘oversized’ look). The movements of the model are stiffer/ more jolted than the organic movement of the silks to emphasise our artificial way of living.
• This running idea of confinement and suffocation. Like trying to breath or even to scream into a void. The words exit at the tip of the thumb and are lost into the churning of virtual screams. Constantly broadcasted into the abyss. The void of desperation. Our inner ‘self’ de-personified into a mass of people. Taking away the individuality and any sense of personality. 
• Black surrounding the subject to demonstrate the ‘void’.
• Monochrome editing drawn from Beckett’s video. I thought that the lack of colour drew the viewer into the raw imagery and allowed them to zone further into their other senses beside sight.
• The only shot at the start with colour is the cocoon because it’s the only possible version of the untainted and ultimately blissful ‘self’.
• For Christ did not contract the original sin in any way whatever, but was holy in His very Conception, according to Luke 1:35: "The Holy which be born of thee, shall be called the Son of God". But the Blessed Virgin did indeed contract original sin, but was cleansed therefrom before her birth from the womb.  Foetal connotations 6*
• I get ghostly connotations from some of the imagery. Not the literal projection of ourselves, just a whisper of our essence?
• ‘Come here, I want to see you.’ -The first thing ever said on the first phone call. I find this very ironic, to the point where it’s almost comical. The fact that phones were made as a way of faster communication as a means to reach out to each other, not meant to stunt our actual activities and actions here in the real world.
• ((Look at artist who edited phones out of pictures and showed the reality of the situation.))
• In this hyper connected world with constant comparison isn’t the ‘self’ becoming more and more dependent on its context? The more we become aware of our surrounds and are influenced by them. So to examine the self, should we be examining our surroundings? The context of our lives.
• Black backdrop instead of white because I think it feels like the inside of a mind. 

The words exit at the tip of the thumb

and are lost into the churning of virtual screams.

Constantly broadcasted into the abyss.

Our inner ‘self’ de-personified into the mass of hollow faces.  

Taking away the individuality and any sense of personality. 

We didn’t start off this way,

‘For Christ did not contract the original sin in any way whatever,

but was holy in his very conception’.

It’s like when you’re little you have this secret that no one else knows.

This imagination that opens up a new world full of bright new colours.

And now the world is just grey.

And every now and then we get a glimpse of that rainbow,

A smell or feeling that takes you back.

You remember your own little world,

where the trees were houses and the mud was chocolate.

Where the animals were princes and the worst pain you felt was a grazed knee.

They say ignorance is bliss,

but why haven’t we guided this into a world worth understanding?

One day a parasite hatched in the chrysalis of our minds.

Planted there by those tainted before us.

Suddenly individuality caused fear.

Suffocated with this false ego.

This adored narcissism.

So in a world of comparison is everyone just searching for a virtual love instead of real human connection?

Maybe they don’t love you.

They love the way you make them feel.

The picture of them you so delicately paint with your compliments and adoration.

So when they say ‘I miss you’,

They’re narcissistic liars.

They don’t miss you.

They miss themselves.

The version of themselves that stands so tall because you provide yourself as the step ladder.

We catfish ourselves into a sense of connection.

Into the machine we are willingly pushed and out pops a pretty picture for the world to cast judgment.

Our layers and any sense of ‘being’, minimalized into a little two dimensional box.

Why do we seek such confirmation?

Or ask directions from those just as lost?

Put down your chaos.

Because if you listen closely, the silence is beautiful.

And when connection strikes,

and we explore the tactility of our skin onto another’s.

Is the softness we’re feeling from our invisible garments?

The shiny barriers like a virus upon our naked selves.

A lack of physical grasp does not take away it’s mental holding cell.

That beautiful box of light, consuming us,

dragging our faces into them,

contorting us into wrinkles of concentration.

But is it light?

Or is it an infinite tunnel to get lost in,

and the second you dig yourself out, then what?

You realise you’ve been frozen in time.

High on this drug of convenience without even noticing that the sun has set around you.

And there’s just you. Just you. Just you. Just you. Just you. No us.

Rewind. Right back to the beginning. Back to those first words ever spoken.

Don’t you just want to laugh at how lost we’ve become.

Willingly wondering into the void.

‘Come here’,

‘I want to see you’.

The words exit at the tip of the thumb

and are lost into the churning of virtual screams.

Constantly broadcasted into the abyss.

Our inner ‘self’ de-personified into the mass of hollow faces.  

Taking away the individuality and any sense of personality. 

We didn’t start off this way,

‘For Christ did not contract the original sin in any way whatever,

but was holy in his very conception’.

It’s like when you’re little you have this secret that no one else knows.

This imagination that opens up a new world full of bright new colours.

And now the world is just grey.

They say ignorance is bliss,

but why haven’t we made this into a world worth understanding?

One day a parasite hatched in the chrysalis of our minds.

Planted there by those tainted before us.

Suddenly individuality caused fear.

Suffocated with this false ego.

This adored narcissism.

So in a world of comparison is everyone just searching for a virtual love instead of real human connection?

Maybe they don’t love you.

They love the way you make them feel.

The picture of them you so delicately paint with your compliments and adoration.

So when they say ‘I miss you’,

They’re narcissistic liars.

They don’t miss you.

They miss themselves.

The version of themselves that stands so tall because you provide yourself as the step ladder.

We catfish ourselves into a sense of connection.

Into the machine we are willingly pushed and out pops a pretty picture for the world to cast judgment.

Our layers and any sense of ‘being’, minimalized into a little two dimensional box.

Why do we seek such confirmation?

Or ask directions from those just as lost?

Put down your chaos.

Because if you listen closely, the silence is beautiful.

And when connection strikes,

and we explore the tactility of our skin onto another’s.

Is the softness we’re feeling from our invisible garments?

The shiny barriers like a virus upon our naked selves.

A lack of physical grasp does not take away it’s mental holding cell.

That beautiful box of light, consuming us,

dragging our faces into them,

contorting us into wrinkles of concentration.

But is it light?

Or is it an infinite tunnel to get lost in,

and the second you dig yourself out, then what?

You realise you’ve been frozen in time.

High on this drug of convenience without even noticing that the sun has set around you.

And there’s just you. Just you. Just you. Just you. No us.

Rewind. Right back to the beginning. Back to those first words ever spoken.

Don’t you just want to laugh at how lost we’ve become.

Willingly wondering into the void.

‘Come here’,

‘I want to see you’.

 ((I changed it to cut out the more child like section for two reasons: to cut down on the time because even read at the fast rate I intended the audio was longer then 2 mins, and because that section of words did not fit in with the atmosphere created by my imagery))

After going to a very nerve racking performance art piece by Oskar Schlemmer, I looked into his video work. For me, the most interesting part of the whole spectacle was the audio he paired with the movements. I found them quite creepy, almost anxiety triggering. Whilst this was a little disturbing, I found it really pulled my attention. I couldn’t stop watching. This is an effect I want my videos to have. I'm going to have a look at what audios from his art work well with my own. 

My personal experience:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzwoErSjjOM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fc7PsPR3hSk

I Experimented with Schlemmer's original audio from his 'Triadisches Ballet': 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHQmnumnNgo

However actually preferred an alternative audio put to Schlemmer's hypnotic imagery, written by Benedikt Frey:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM3iC-yCf8A

I loved being able to show other people my work. I was nervous to show this piece because I think it was quite personal to me, my own words and ramblings, the way I see the world (or parts of it). But I got such powerful feedback. Everyone that watched it appeared to have a change of emotion after they finished. They said they found it very powerful. I like that it emotionally effected the viewers because I think that the trigger factor of art is very important. I think this because of my personal interest in the artist/ experiencer interaction. How their individual psychos’ interact with one another. Picking up triggers and memories they share. Visual prompts into their subconscious. 

When I look at Trippe's photography I feel like I'm taken to a new world. I like how she has this Sci Fi glamour. Her own little expressive world of fashion in a new context to play with. I like how she takes people out of their environment and writes her own story, rather than documenting their stories (like most photography). I also really admire the way she plays with colour. I think this is something I need to bring more into my work. I've always been more comfortable with tones then colours. I think I am drawn to a monochrome pallet because of my fascination with light, but actually this can be quite physically limiting, missing out on so many opportunities for expression through colour. I tried to push myself a little bit away from this with some coloured shots in my Extension Project video, but think I need to be doing more of this in the future, pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

I get the idea of space/ space travel when I look at her work. Almost like the idea of space travel as pictured by people half a decade ago. As all of her models are women and (upsettingly) most astronauts and scientists are men, I think that her work also poses questions about gender roles. 

In an Interview with Lomography I learnt that her pieces are often inspired by the 70s, especially the music of the time. I think this is visually evident in her bold colour choices and prints which she either includes in the original photography, digitally or physically edits into the pieces. When I look at her rainbows and expressive movements I get a feeling of nostalgia and a childlike playfulness. That idea of childlike wonderment and imagination. Her work inspired me previously to write these words about that beautiful huge mind of a child:

‘When you’re little you can’t wait to wake up in the morning.

You can’t wait to go outside and play,

But guess what.

Now all the waiting’s over and all you want to do is sleep.

Like when you’re little you have this secret that no one else knows.

This imagination that opens up a new world full of bright new colours

And now the world is just a little bit grey.

And every now and then we get a tiny glimpse of that rainbow,

Like a tiny puff of happiness being blown into your face.

A smell or feeling that just takes you back and you remember your own little world

Where the trees were houses and the mud was chocolate.

Where the animals were princes and the worst pain you felt was a grazed knee

They say ignorance is bliss, but why don’t we just turn this into a world worth understanding?’

To conclude, I want to bring her guidance and creativity to carving a particular atmosphere and space to explore. I think I need her confidence with colour to inspire me and make me bring myself out of my monochrome comfort zone. I love her after-experimentation and the way she plays around with her pieces to create another dimension to each one.

-Blindfolded model facing into the camera: Reoccurring image from the first to last clips and through out. I chose to do those because I thought it drew in nicely the words that said ‘right back to beginning’ (when referring to the quote taken from the first ever phone call. For me this gives connotations of inevitability. Like we always had it coming, where our own evolution takes control of the virus of humanity and guide it to its own end by killing its host through self destruction.  

-I started off with gently imagery because I wanted to mimic the soft initial tone of voice. 

-‘Taking away our individuality and any sense of personality’ -shifted from two similar images. The first with the eyes showing and the second with them covered. I felt like the first image felt quite personal. Like he’s liking right at you. The second giving this blank stare. I felt like this person staring right at you without eyes felt very impersonal. Like you almost expect eyes to be in that blank space. This idea was exaggerated by the wind pushing the silk into the sockets and making it look pretty creepy, almost like empty sockets, like a skeleton. 

-The small purple foetal position shot is the mimic the idea of the child living in a world of ‘bright new colours’. I used the colour purple because for me, it makes me think of space, dreams and wonder. 

-‘One day a parasite...’ is a louder audio, as the tone of the piece changes. 

-The organic image of the balls having this organic movement/ clatter around it makes me think of the domino effect. How one event inevitably knocks into another. The butterfly effect. 

-I like the natural stuttering and pauses in the speak because they feel natural and human, relating back to examining the ‘self’ title. 

-I filmed and edited all of the footage on my iPhone and actually liked how using lots of different editing apps took away the crisp quality of the moving images. Took away the individuality of the people in frame.

-The jellyfish-like shot and jumpy shot of the ball consumption and rejection from the mouth were actually some of what I considered, my most successful clips. But they didn’t fit with the context and spoken words of the piece so weren't included.

-I think in the future I’m going to experiment with doing some writing around this imagery and make a second video. This is a good opportunity to see what I personally find a more natural making process: fitting the audio to the imagery or the imagery to the audio. 

-I think that the final outcome successfully translated the right feel I was attempting to create.

-If I could have done something differently I would have displayed the piece in a dark room on a large screen or projector. I think the impact wasn’t as big as I wanted it to be, however when I brought my friends to watch it in a dark room on full volume the impact was exactly as intended.

-I’m really happy that my first ever video made from multiple clips was a successful portrayal of the story I was trying to tell.

-Write words that fit the left over clips: (The ball in and out of the mouth/ The full head turn/ The trapped jelly fish like imagery (mimicking organic movement) ).

-Make second video. (Left over clips) (speech and music)

-Make videos of phones/ devices playing the other clips. (Just with music)

-Make video spinning out of the phones (one line speech and music)

I find the emotional interaction between the artist and the viewer to be the most important part of my art. The delayed dance the artist influences in the psyche of each beholder. Through experimentation and a general feeling of dissatisfaction with so many medium’s results, due to a lack of the impact I have idealised in my head, I think I have finally discovered the right platform to convey the feeling I want my work to convey: Fine Art (4D).

I was actually off with the flu during the 4D workshop day so I was so excited to be able to explore this during my extension week project. I think the concept of examining the ‘self’ is pretty much what I see as the epitome of Fine Art. An expression of one’s self, either intentionally or unintentionally, projected onto a physical platform of some kind. I thought that the 4D course would be the perfect platform for me to be able to encompass the use of any chosen media. It’s this freedom that draws me to this course, which I found was reiterated in the making style of the self-guided Extension Project week. I could make 3D sculptures and instillations who’s point is to produce videos, I could create paintings that turn into projections upon a subject and video their interactions with one another. I could document the world around me or use studio settings to create a little world of my own, like in my Extension Project.

This particular style was inspired by Samuel Beckett’s video “Not I” (1). When focussing in on the inflections of the words I found that the variation in pace and volume made myself the viewer feel very uneasy and almost anxious. I almost enjoyed this response because I admired that the video was able to provoke such a strong and obvious emotional response from me. I find this psychological relationship between the artist and the viewer very intriguing. In search for better understanding of this I read the book Bacon and the Mind: Art, Neuroscience and psychology. Francis Bacon’s work explores ‘…the non-spatial directionality that the spaces of the mind have…’ (2). His works always visually coming back to his fascination and even enjoyment of vulnerability and pain. As Bacon himself beautifully put it; the ‘greatest art… always returns you to the vulnerability of the human situation’ (3). I find this quite thought-provoking because I always find my work attempting to examine the cracks in situations, the cracks in society and within individuals, rather than looking directly at them as a whole, because I find that sometimes looking at the wider picture can often miss the interesting details. I like to question and point out the imperfections, because sometimes I think those can be the most beautiful parts.I feel so inspired by Bacon’s ability to paint what he feels rather than what he sees, distorting the forms into what he considers to be his realty. His repetition of painting the mouth in a childish and equine way, visualising his struggles with asthma and the weakness within himself it represented in the eyes of his father. That’s why at the end of the Fine Art day I found myself swaying towards one of the Fine Art courses, for their processes of experimentation and exploration in such a free flowing manner across a huge range of methodologies. On this day I created a series of pieces exploring with the title ‘Removal’. Thinking about removal by a process of destruction, and removal by a process of addition, I created what I consider very successful outcomes. As I was using faces to start with as my subject matter, I found this posed questions in my head about self-destruction and self-identity. When moving onto the removal of words I thought about the removal of information to achieve beauty, and what these pieces could say about the vanity of modern society. I think that experimentation and accidents caused by a repetitive making process have a huge role in finding unique personal outcomes. Like Bacon himself said ‘You have to gamble with your current success to take the work to the next level’(4). I think the 4D course would allow me to bring together all of these thoughts through method of experimentation into attention demanding visuals that speak to the psyche within each of us.

Bibliography:

(1): Beckett, S. (1973). YouTube. [online] Youtube.com. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4LDwfKxr-M [Accessed 27 Oct. 2019].

(2): Bucklow, C., Jaron, S., Leader, D., Onians, J., Zeki, S. and Ishizu, T. (2019). Bacon and the mind. London: The Estate of Francis Bacon Publishing in association with Thames & Hudson, p.27.

(3) The Independent. (n.d.). notes on FRANCIS BACON. [online] Available at: https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/notes-on-francis-bacon-1328657.html [Accessed 27 Oct. 2019].

(4) Bucklow, C., Jaron, S., Leader, D., Onians, J., Zeki, S. and Ishizu, T. (2019). Bacon and the mind. London: The Estate of Francis Bacon Publishing in association with Thames & Hudson, p.65. 

-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4oSf0ahBKM

-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOQr4DUBTZw

Playing around with movement of the human body in natural light and a more natural setting, to see if I prefer this to the more heavily directed movements and studio setting with artificial lighting. 

I think it gives less opportunity to write my own story and produce my own atmosphere. I feel like when you involve the personal setting of the subject (where they are more natural and comfortable/ at home) it softens the imagery hugely. There is a shift in atmosphere. So I guess depending on the message of each piece, I would find this shift in atmosphere useless.